S who makes the fucking rules?

Who the fuck make the rules about what BDSM stands for. Is there an organization/institution that congregate, and define each role for us mere mortals to uphold. I hate labels they don't suit my need or nature. A snobbish Dom informed me that I wasn't a natural Dom but a switch. Because real Dom's never entertain the idea of switching. It's in there nature to lead not follow. Well I have an answer to that one FUCK YOU!!!
Just because he has a definite idea of what a Dom is to him the rules don't fucking apply to me. Being a Dom isn't a position of power/strength. Telling people what to do doesn't validate any kind of superiority. It does not make you invincible, matter of fact it shows a certain kind of weakness... because the exchange itself shows that a Dom needs the upper hand. And it's not too control the sub but too camouflage their insecurities.
A sub is a position of true strength and power not the other way around. A sub/slave is not only willing to give their entire emotional existence in a moment to please their Dom/Master, but they are willing to give it easily and still are capable of still giving more. They are not willing to with hold or turn away but transcend in a moment of bliss when they have been depleted or consumed, I sometimes think that happens simultaneously.
At the end of the day he made me feel inadequate in my request to be mentored. I am not insulted at the fact he declined my proposal, I was angry with his attitude and tone. I didn't see a need to be challenged about my views, they are mine to own. Not yours to manipulate.

I watch and listen but I don't get it!

For the past year and a half I have been doing my own"research" on BDSM relationships. I have encountered allot of interesting people with strong points of view in this lifestyle...and although I am truly intrigued....I still don't get it.
The nature of the relationship seems so severely imbalance that reaching a true form of satisfaction really throws me off...I can't seem to get over the ridicule, demeaning nature of it. But then I do! At times I don't see it as such...I see it as an opportunity to place all your fear, anger, mistrust and issues in someone else's care. I see it as an opportunity to let go, to relinquish, to submerge into your own being. I see it as an opportunity to draw out the essence of your needs, and to let go of the power that forces you to conform to society, tradition, culture and family.
But it's scary...how do you let someone else that far deep into your psyche? How do you permit yourself to trust someone who may or may not be able to handle such a burden? Does it sometimes occur to the sub that the individual is just as human...as he/she is? Or is it just a momentary game that is played in order too fulfill each others desire? Is it just a game that fucks with you hard core and leave you swollen ,wanting more? Is this a form of self-hatred? I see so many potential danger with this relationship...but maybe it's my issue with it all.

Mirror Play Part 2

"The door is open, come in."

She turns the knob and pushes, the door gave way and she walks in.

Michael in a baby blue terry cloth robe stood in the living room holding the receiver.

He looked at her with a smirk on his face. Jacqueline looks up at him and snaps her cell closed, she smiled not understanding what the look was for.

He walks towards her and gently kisses her.

“Come on, I have a surprise for you .”

Looking back she sees she needed him to invade her. She wanted him too, and a part of her wants him to search deeper.

He held out his hand and led her to his den area. Jacqueline is amazed at the transformation, Lit candles surrounded them casting soft shadows against the walls. They all brilliantly displayed on the mantle, entertainment center, even on his coffee table. Every one of his furniture where moved to accommodate what she assumed to be his air mattress, that was placed in the center of the room…covered with sheets, comforters and beautiful pillows that are stacked carefully on the bed and when she looked closer petals of different color roses sprinkled all on the cushions of the couch and bed…it was beautiful. When she walked further in she saw a mirror placed right across the bed…it was leaning against the wall with two marble candle holders supporting it on each end.

“Before we begin, we are going to have to set ground rules.”

“First one is trust.”

“What I mean by that not only are you going to have to trust me, but you’re going to have to trust my judgment.”

“I know it’s something that is earned that’s why we are playing games, but in time it won’t be, but that solely depends on you and how comfortable you feel about this!”

“Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“I really want to get to know you and understand how your body works. That’s very important!”

“Your job is to also let me know what your limits are.”

“Speak to me Jacky!”

“I’m not sure what to say?”

“It’s allot I know, you understand it’s something you have to want to do, I can’t convince or force you.”

He plants another kiss on her and whispered…”I want you to believe that I have earned it.”

She laid her head against his chest..”I’m scared. I want to do it, I really do, I’m just so afraid from last time.”

Holding her by the shoulder he stepped back looked her in the eyes. “You were perfect! You gave me more that I would ever expect.”

“Baby you were so beautiful!”

Pulled her close and kissed her again. His demanding tongue darts between her lips, searching deep into her mouth were there passion ignited. Tongues intertwined, both of them longing for each other.

He pulls them apart, and walks backwards into the den. Never losing eye contact.

“Here’s your first order. Don’t worry it’s not difficult at all.”

She waits painfully as his eyes stalks her body.

“Take all your clothes off, and then walk to me.”

Wow!!!!

Something just fucked with me the hard way...and I am not talking about last nights episode. I was just reading a blog that I recently discovered and there was a statement that stopped me in my tracks.
The statement included a scenario where an individual accidentally stopped by a blog and while reading it she/he discovers it's not good. She describes it as words being incomprehensible, riddled with bad grammar and misspelled words. She goes on too writing how instead of being a nameless character, the story line is about you....and in the end she just couldn't bare the thought of continuing anything with this individual...she claimed herself to be hyper-critical, superficial and intolerant. But she just couldn't continue...
That fucked me up in so many ways. I can say as a newbie to this whole erotic writing world, I have many insecurities. When writing for friends and family everyone will say okay. Or tell you how talented you are. But you are taking criticism from people who are not only bias but who don't have much experience in the field.
Not to say I don't have educated people who surround me. That's far from the truth...I know people with masters degree and even some with Ph. D's (do not mock me if I didn't abbreviated this right) but all the same it's nothing like being in a class or place with people of similar interest. Sometimes you find that not only are you surrounded by like minded people, but many are superior to your knowledge...Now I know I complain allot. Maybe I need a dom to tell me how good of a pet I am....lol.
But that shit really fucked with me. So fuck it I am going to write it out.
I am not sure if I am sincerely looking for validation for my supposedly creation, but I know there is something I am looking for. Maybe I really need to step back and make amends with my naivety and start embracing the fact this is a learning experience and it can only get better.

Okay here it is my newby....Mirror Play Part 1

This is Mirror Play ... I haven't edited the story yet but when I do I will post the corrected version...anyway this is the first part...
**************************************************************************************
Michael is known to be a deviant fuck at times, but his compassion always seem to compensate for his cunning nature. The last time she played his game she was caught of guard. He knew what he was doing, she was sure of that. There was more to their game than casual curiosity, at least on his part.

She remember agreeing of course, naive at the time she thought it would be fun too try something different. It was always in her nature too jump in head first. She did not plan on what was too come.

The intensity of their session, the skillful way he manipulated her body made her uneasy. Jacqueline inhibitions slowly dissolve as her hunger left her open to him. That night she surrendered herself to him offering everything. Her body being exposed and used as she whimpers in the dark. Her body began to truly appreciate and understand the joy being pushed beyond it’s boundaries. As it is warranted by powerful orgasms forcing it’s way out of her. Orgasms so strong she was left shaking to the core weeping. She never felt so violated but yet so needy, she recalls how good it felt and how much was said, the things she confessed, what he made her do.

The set up was very clever, walking into his room all the windows were open with the blinds closed shut. She could here the world outside, The wind sometimes blowing into the darkness that surround them. She wondered when did their noise take over, as they both desperately, grind and grope each other in search of relieving themselves from their sweet torment. It was that moment she knew things would never be the same.

And they never quiet were, she began too question his smile, joke and gesture trying to capture any moment that would contradict her knowledge of him. She knew Michael to be very simple in his way of thinking, he did not seem to care for details, or wanted to be bothered with allot of things. He is a very smart man, but nothing out of the ordinary, or maybe Jacqueline underestimate him. Maybe she was the one who over looked the details.

Ever since then she has been very hesitant about playing anymore of his games. For the last three months she was trying really hard too forget or put it off as an incident, but no matter how she tried to down play it, she knew it was in vain.

As she stands in front of the door. She begins to realize that she was still recovering from their love making. Love making how funny...all this time...and with every last lover she has had...she now realized it was the first time she was made love too.

She waits for the phone too ring,

He picks up, "Hey!" She's surprised he sounds like his usual self.

"Hello, I'm outside."

The Beautiful Beast...

The following morning, with a new sense of determination Carla decides to take a trip down by the book store.
Walking up the street, from a distance a red and white sign dangles from the display window. The stalk white bold letters glared mockingly at her, causing Carla nerves to jump. Of all the days, it had to be this very day the store would be closed.
Leaning against the door Carla peers through the window eagerly scanning the dark store. Even as the bright sun blares, she couldn’t see much of anything, the dark background against the harsh light caused the window to have a mirror-like effect making it more difficult for her to see. Glancing over her shoulder she hopes no one notices her obvious gawking, the last thing she needs is to be known as the neighborhood stalker. Slowly pacing against the window pane all she could make out was the yellowish bright illumination that outline the variety of books dominating the homely store.
The clattering of keys broke her concentration; she follows the sound only to find the owner standing two feet from her unlocking the front door. What she has dreaded the most has become a reality.
Trying to stifle her silent screams she looks up in her embarrassment.
“Good morning.” He smiles holding the door open. “Coming in?” If she didn’t know any better she could have sworn that he was standing there all that time.
“I’m sorry, just looking.” Slighted by his assumed arrogance.
Squinting his eyes he cocked his head to the side studying her, “anything specific?”
“No just pass….” Cutting her of mid-sentence.
“C’mon I must have something you want.” He walks out the doorway and extended his arm towards her and politely ushers her in. “Please except my invitation.” As she walks in he whispers, “I don’t bite, I promise.”
And just that simple she enters the little cozy store, that’s been consuming her mind. The transformation of what was once a fantasy has turned into her reality. A border she thought never to be crossed is now lying before her waiting to be explored.

She walks further in and hears the wind chimes as the door closes. She decides to walk around the store and take a look at the collection of books he owns. She stops picks up a book and starts to skim through it when she hears a familiar voice “Found something you like?”
Frightened she drops the book and looks up “Oh I was just…just...” she stutters “its okay” he says “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“By the way I’m Jonas” he reaches out for a hand shake.
“I’m Carla” taking his hand.
His massive hands were firm but soft to the touch.
“Good seeing you again?” and walks away.
Carla wondered for a moment what he meant by that and realizes he’s been watching her too.
************************************************************************
Walking home after work she stops by the book store to see if Jonas was still there. When she finally gets there she notices that Jonas is coming out. He sees Carla coming up the block and waves to her. Carla smiles and waves back.
“Going somewhere?” He asks.
“Oh I was just on my way home from work.”
Jonas smiles, “What a coincidence I’m just closing up.” Pulling the gate down over the store.
“Where do you work?”
“The Family Crisis Center around Milton Avenue . I am the office manager there.”
“Wow! That sounds great.” Looking at her dead in the eye he folds his hands in front of him and pauses for a moment. “How is that going for you?”
“Pretty good, I enjoy it a lot. At times it gets stressful but I love it all the same.”
“I know how you feel.”
“Yeah well I must get going” she says starting to walk away. “Mind if I walk with you I am headed in the same direction.”
Carla eyes widen with stunned expression, “Oh, um…If you want too.”
“Just let me finish locking up and I’ll be right with you” he walks towards the alley way that sits between his Book Store and the Coffee Shop.
“I’m not in much of a hurry” she yells as she watches his form disappear into the darkness that surrounds the building.
What do I say now….. I can’t believe he wants to walk me, I’m so nervous…. I don’t know what to say…..

All done! He announces as he approaches her.
“So how long have you lived here?”
“I just moved to this part of town about six months ago.” He nodded in agreement as if it confirmed something.
“Oh that would explain.”
“Explain What?”
“Why I haven’t seen you before. I pretty much know the people around here.”
The conversation picked up nicely as they talk briefly about there day. The newness of this budding relationship seem so different from what Carla expected. At the footsteps of her building, Carla can see him clearly. The street light highlights the details of his face, exposing the lines on his forehead. Marking him as a man older than his appearance. Looking into his steely eyes she recognizes the possessive quality in them. There was nothing casual about his stance, everything about his movement seemed scripted. Make no mistake there is nothing mediocre about this man, and that concerned Carla a great deal.
“Well I guess this is good night then?”
“Thanks for the walk.”
“No bother at all, see you tomorrow then.” And walks away.
Beam of light focuses on Carla kneeling on the corner edge of the massive bed; she grips the sheets in desperate attempt to balance herself. Her eyes strain too see beyond the light but in vain, she could only see what is immediately near her. Outside the beam of light was pure darkness.

She loses control and her body gives weight causing her to head straight for the floor. Hands shot out from behind and help her regain her position. Setting her body up she realizes she‘s naked. But it didn’t alarm her, mater of fact it seemed natural. The hands continue to shifts her into its preference her bare flesh settles as the hands disappears to its owner. In there she knows someone is watching her strain enjoying her pain as her body being displayed …listening as she whimpers against the mattress.
Then he walks towards her the estranged hands are placed on Carla’s back and works its way down her ass a finger settles were the cleft of her ass begins, and then it disappears into her crack of her ass, settling dangerously close to her asshole
Suddenly the estranged hands pulls her ass up, and spreads her legs wide, her face lays flat on it’s side against the overstuffed mattress, as the stranger maneuvers her.
Although she couldn’t see him she sensed it was Jonas. She feels his presence, the familiarity of his aura over shadowing her, consuming her existence.
Her thighs continues to struggle from her awkward posture, but she persist in holding herself, she wanted to please him. He held her thighs apart and pushed his fingers and pressed it into her opening, Causing her to purr, as her body shudder. His eyes studying her desire, he pushed deeper causing her internal muscle to spasm shutting around it. Juices start to accumulate as he starts to masturbate her. Feeling her arousal he pushes a third finger into her,
Carla struggles to relax as her muscles grew accustom to the fullness of his fingers. As she slowly starts to grind herself against him, the finger fuck session starts to entice her desire. She begins to feel the rhythm of his hand as the manipulation of her body continues . He then takes out his fingers and spread her juices along her gaping cunt, he pulls her hips unto him increasing his grip, fingers delving deep into her flesh, forcefully guided her onto his hard prick. Without any reservation he plunged deep into her opening the piercing sensation runs up into her, forcing her to grunt.

He violently fucks her pushing all his weight against her. Pounding her over and over again, causing her face to bury into the mattress as the intrusion gets harsher.
He pushes his cool thumb into her hot asshole the contrast of temperature jolts up her spine.
His hips slow down and his thrust becomes more menacing as he digs deeper into her. His iron grip tightens as his breath becomes more ragged he churns inside as he begins to find the core to his carnal pleasure. With a deep growl he thrust himself even deeper in her cervix. Eyes tightly shut, teeth clenching he trembles as his muscles begins to tense. Carla is helpless under him; his powerful roar made her realize he is no longer a man but a crazed beast savagely taken ownership as he erupts.

The Beautiful Beast

Sitting on the edge of the black leather love seat, Carla’s thoughts start to scatter. She wonders if she was underdressed for the occasion, the polyester sky blue blouse synched at her waist, while her dark blue denim jeans pinched her thighs. She loved the ceremonial undertaking of making herself extravagant, but hated how it compromises her comfort. Her face felt heavy and caked up with foundation and her blood red lips twitched with the sensation of waxy substance that clings to her mouth.

Sitting in the living room Carla started too slowly take in her surroundings she notice his collections of paintings, nothing there she could recognize. Bold colors and harshly shaped figures meshed together in what seems to be abstract artwork. The paintings all framed with heavy wood seemed too completely cover his walls and some left deserted on the floor carefully stacked on the side of his desk.

The turn of the bathroom doorknob snaps her out of her trance. Her heart rate picks up speed as she hears his footsteps getting closer. She feels the strength of his presence behind her the scent of his cologne fills her lungs, descending the first pulse of her desire down between her thighs.

She felt him lightly touch her shoulder “Sorry for the wait”, he says.

“No problem” she replies in a soft voice.

“Are you ready”?

“Sure” as she tugs her jeans, trying to relieve some discomfort.

Ever since Carla took residence in her new apartment, she never really had taken notice of the book store around the corner until she saw Jonas. This store would have blended into the background of the quaint little neighborhood, if it wasn’t for the magnificent man that stood behind the display window. Fixated on his work, she watches closely admiring his commitment as he diligently organizes the display window for the new arrivals.
Carla stood there starring at him watching his movements silently trying to absorb all of him.

His slanted silver eyes were the first thing that captured her attention. There was almost an animalistic character about them that she couldn’t pin point. His facial features was very pronounced with a protruding brow, box like heavy jaw line and sharp high cheek bones. As perfectly symmetrical face was, his body seems to have taken another characteristic. When standing his shoulder seem too slightly slouch forward causing him to look a little hunched. His head seemed too large for his compact stout but built body, his arms a little too long for his height. Nothing about this man’s built or nature was delicate. Or that to be assumed only when you see him handling the books you could see a certain tenderness; he is not abrupt or forceful. Sometimes she watches him sip coffee and it sometimes causes her too giggle the way he approaches the cup ever so carefully. It was his kind nature she saw in his everyday act that draws her too him. The severe dynamic the man possess, she finds she must have.

When suddenly she noticed him looking directly back at her, with a smile and a gentle nod he acknowledges her presence: for a moment she just stood there stuck to the ground, then in an instant she grew startled at her obvious ogling and briskly walks away.

For the next week Carla used alternate routes to work, considering there first encounter she thought it would be best to avoid him. Walking up the steps of her building, Carla couldn’t wait to get the load off, she enters the apartment taking of her jacket, throw her keys onto her desk and goes into the kitchen. Pushes play on the answering machine listening for messages, takes her shoes off and sorts through the mail. Another long week passed and it’s finally Friday.

Wanting too start the weekend off right she begins with her ceremonial cleansing. Her skin feeling clammy with the accumulation of sweat and debris of the day, Carla proceeds to the bathroom. Shedding the layers of clothes she leaves a trail behind her discarding all the nonsense and burdens of her stressful day. Turns the shower knobs and let’s the water run, she waits for steam to emanate from the shower and steps in. Her body automatically relaxes once the water contacts her skin and she feels the tension ease off and trickles away.

She reaches for her detachable shower head and begins to lather herself, with her favorite bath toy she takes the opportunity to think of the store owner. Rubbing the soap against her full ample breast her nipples begins to harden. She starts caressing her bosoms and playfully tugs at her nipples. The throbbing of her nipples sends currents down her clit.

She imagines him starring at her with his steely grey eyes, watching her tease herself, sensing his eyes fixated on her, while she explore her body. Sensing her arousal, as she starts manipulating her clit lightly stroking it as she rest the nozzle against it applying more pressure to her meaty vulva. Her arousal grows her hunger for him becomes more demanding. Her breathing gets heavier and her muscles starts too tightens. She could see him concentrating on her movements, absorbing her excitement. She watches him through her half opened eyes, as she starts to buck against her hand. Her finger is now moving wildly as the water assaults her clitoris. She could almost taste the delicious nature of her orgasm overcoming her. Her eyes plead for permission to release her pent up desire he looks dead in her eyes and just watches her without blinking or even acknowledging her torment. Carla is losing the battle of self-control she is almost on the edge and she feels the strong need to let go.

Her body begins to tremble and contort. The pulsing rhythm of the water sends an electrifying sensation up her spine. She shifts her weight against the corner wall and spread her legs wider, displaying her moist pussy…She wants him inside, she needed him to see her desperation , exposing her vulnerability. Now thrusting madly against the nozzle threatening to rip it out of the wall. Muttering incoherent words she pushes her fingers inside herself and begins to groan. Her body begins to shake violently and Carla finally screams as she explodes reaching the ultimate height of her climax.

Drying herself Carla was stunned of how powerful her orgasm was. What concerned her more was that her appetite was not satisfied she still hunger for more. Her body ached from desire and is longing for more pleasure. Amazed by her new found strength, Carla is intrigued she walks into her bedroom and collapse on her bed. Hoping sleep takes over and while her desire ache her body needed its rest. As she lay back, she was indeed tired. Her eyes closed and she slept.