S who makes the fucking rules?

Who the fuck make the rules about what BDSM stands for. Is there an organization/institution that congregate, and define each role for us mere mortals to uphold. I hate labels they don't suit my need or nature. A snobbish Dom informed me that I wasn't a natural Dom but a switch. Because real Dom's never entertain the idea of switching. It's in there nature to lead not follow. Well I have an answer to that one FUCK YOU!!!
Just because he has a definite idea of what a Dom is to him the rules don't fucking apply to me. Being a Dom isn't a position of power/strength. Telling people what to do doesn't validate any kind of superiority. It does not make you invincible, matter of fact it shows a certain kind of weakness... because the exchange itself shows that a Dom needs the upper hand. And it's not too control the sub but too camouflage their insecurities.
A sub is a position of true strength and power not the other way around. A sub/slave is not only willing to give their entire emotional existence in a moment to please their Dom/Master, but they are willing to give it easily and still are capable of still giving more. They are not willing to with hold or turn away but transcend in a moment of bliss when they have been depleted or consumed, I sometimes think that happens simultaneously.
At the end of the day he made me feel inadequate in my request to be mentored. I am not insulted at the fact he declined my proposal, I was angry with his attitude and tone. I didn't see a need to be challenged about my views, they are mine to own. Not yours to manipulate.

I watch and listen but I don't get it!

For the past year and a half I have been doing my own"research" on BDSM relationships. I have encountered allot of interesting people with strong points of view in this lifestyle...and although I am truly intrigued....I still don't get it.
The nature of the relationship seems so severely imbalance that reaching a true form of satisfaction really throws me off...I can't seem to get over the ridicule, demeaning nature of it. But then I do! At times I don't see it as such...I see it as an opportunity to place all your fear, anger, mistrust and issues in someone else's care. I see it as an opportunity to let go, to relinquish, to submerge into your own being. I see it as an opportunity to draw out the essence of your needs, and to let go of the power that forces you to conform to society, tradition, culture and family.
But it's scary...how do you let someone else that far deep into your psyche? How do you permit yourself to trust someone who may or may not be able to handle such a burden? Does it sometimes occur to the sub that the individual is just as human...as he/she is? Or is it just a momentary game that is played in order too fulfill each others desire? Is it just a game that fucks with you hard core and leave you swollen ,wanting more? Is this a form of self-hatred? I see so many potential danger with this relationship...but maybe it's my issue with it all.